If I look at my life as an overview it definitely makes sense why I started this career so late. I have been doing music all of my adult life, but unfortunately I just wasn't ready and polished enough to pursue it professionally. After being here 6 weeks now, I STILL don't know if I am. The doubt part is my lack of confidence, something that has pervaded me since young adulthood. In a musical career, I have this doubt syndrome a lot, understandably so. It is deep and internal; based on decisions I made in life, twists and turns, mistakes, and simply just not understanding or loving myself enough.
I realized though that I need to do this, no matter my age, no matter my lack of self confidence. I am an extremely contradictory person. In the music industry you have to try and make things happen. You do not leave anything to chance. You milk every connection, even a bad one, to the final end and perhaps more. This is a very planned out process. As a true bohemian like Aquarian, I am not a planned and organized person. Los Angeles seems to mock this side of me as I try daily to drive from point A to point B. It is always a miracle to me that I make it home. I have not an iphone to my name, and yet each day I arrive from my destination from streets so curvy and sometimes senseless to me. I am having to do a lot of things out of my comfort zone to pursue music. As I said, I am very contradictory. Most people who do not know me well, think of me as mysterious and quiet, yet I can be the most charming and witty person at a party. I have a social side that is beneficial to my career choice, yet it only comes out spontaneously. Waking up in the morning and making a "cold call" to a music executive is my nightmare. On the phone I sound naive-green and not very sharp. It is not natural to me, yet it is one of the things I must do. I also have to expose myself to all sorts of criticism of my work. I may not have much self confidence, but I have always believed in my song writing abilities. I have done a couple of song screenings. One went very well; the person liked my song and was interested, so I went through with the lengthy submission process, only to find out later that to get accepted, you have to have 10 perfect songs..... Another screening did not go so well. I presented a country song to a prominent Nashville publisher on skype. He thought my song was not "literal" enough and that someone would actually "turn it off" right away. Having belief in my song, I disagreed, but my timid side showed through, and I did not politely defend myself. I thought it best to write a firm but polite letter asking a few questions. I did not get a response back. Worse, I read the letter and realized it came off totally pompous and condescending. I actually used phrases like, "I don't write music for 14 year olds", and "don't you think that you are not giving the audience enough credit?". I totally blew it. Now another screening opportunity is coming up with the same person where I could present another (more literal-sort of) song for another chance but I'm too embarrassed about my letter. This is one lesson so far I learned the hard way.
But there has been much happiness here in Los Angeles, a place where, until I moved here, I had never been to in my life. I really did make the big leap. I have been enjoying things here that were lacking for me up north such as certain concerts, art museums and other cultural activities. I got to play at the House of Blues and am currently recording some music in a studio in Hollywood. I also have met some people, and thrive on those spontaneous situations that give me hope.
I was walking around one day, and it happened to be the second Saturday art walk for North East Los Angeles near where I'm residing. I stopped in a shop called Memphis George and saw beautifully artistic wearable art pieces. There was also a small band playing out front. It reminded me so much of home and the once a month art walks there that I loved so much. I started talking to the owner of the shop; telling her I just moved here and that I was a musician. She very persistently had me out front with her guitar, jamming with some other musicians. Soon people were stopping and taking pictures and talking to me. Turns out this has been a very great connection for me. I am becoming more acquainted with this woman as an artist, and she is really amazing, kind and encouraging. This Saturday I am honored to be one of the performers for a holiday art celebration at her shop. Here are some pics of her beautiful art.......
There will be another band also performing that night, "Down West".
Down West is an acoustic duo from Atwater Village, Los Angeles.
The music is original and memorable, with an Americana vibe, stripped down to guitar, percussion and voice. Singer/Songwriter Steve Stanard on guitar and Theo Waddell on cajon and percussion.
Check 'em out on the book of faces and give them a Like: Down West
She was kind enough to make a wonderful post with my info...........
Cynthia Brando
"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What one can be, one must be."
-- Abraham Maslow
My style is Americana and I"m open to collaboration and meeting fellow musicians!
Check out Cynthia's music at: Cynthia's website
There will also be a special dessert maker present!
The Best For LastCustom dessert catering
For folks who love to cook but hate to bake!
Andrea Balter is an Atwater Villager and proud owner of one of the best little dessert catering businesses you could ever hope to use for your special occasion! Give her a like on Facebook! The Best For Last
So yes, I'm very excited to be a part of this and make these special connections. Check out the shop of Memphis George here: Memphis George . She was also kind enough to purchase one of my cd's.
Moving here was rough. The first week I spent most of my time crying, but after having settled in, and honoring the wonderful opportunity this is for me, things are getting better. It is life like anywhere else; much possibility, zero guarantees...........
An excerpt from my work in progress "Dreams".
"I just left my whole world behind
To begin the next stage of my life
Yes it's true I've spend a long time hiding
From fears that would ravage my mind
But now the time has come to step into the light-
Of my dreams........dreams".......
No comments:
Post a Comment